Snip-Snap

Most of the time we know what we need to do to fix our lives. Maybe it's going to school, getting a new job, getting rid of bad habits, and sometimes, it's getting rid of people that make our lives just that much worse. There are those rare occasions when your heart and mind agree and it's a matter of just saying that you can no longer be a friend/more than a friend. You realize that everything is wrong and you would be both better off without each other. Then, there are the multitudes of occasions when your mind is set on this idea but your heart will not let go... It has to be the most frustrating stalemate in the history of human emotion. Just as one of my closest friends is going through this now, I think I am too - or rather, I might be there soon. My friend is troubled - these questions and feelings bother her and no rationale can help win over her heart. What is this weird connection we have to others that makes it impossible to imagine every day life without them? Even when they're not physically there and you are surrounded by others, you feel that there's something missing. You feel alone. A crushing loneliness. A great weapon your heart pulls out when your mind starts rationalizing and debating. For a little while I thought that was the reason my heart was clinging on and not letting go but now I know better. I'm not afraid of being alone. I've been by myself plenty of times (refer to my love for the Bridget Jones' matra "All By Myself"). I like doing things by myself: taking walks, shopping, cooking... No, no. Loneliness is a great weapon - touche Brain - but it's not the deciding factor. Sometimes I wish it was just that easy to snip-snap and cut people out of your life. Just like that, without any regret or feelings. But only the right people. And how do you know which ones are the ones you should cut out and which ones need to be kept close? My brain and heart can't seem to agree. I'm not putting away the scissors, but I'm not about to cut things to shreds either.

The Joy of Cooking

Hello, my name is Olga, and I have a problem - I am addicted to cooking. Seriously and hardcore. I'm not even sure where this love for cooking came from. It's true that my grandma started teaching me how to make basics like crepes and baked chicken - okay, so maybe my family's definition of 'basics', not so much the American version of poptarts or cereal - at a very early age, but don't all grandmas? Apparently, this love for creating things with our hands goes back far through my mother's side of the family. I've been told that my great grandmother would not even eat herself if she was in the company of others - they came first. After everyone was finished she would discreetly take a plate and eat in the kitchen by herself. I don't think I am at that level quite yet, but I have noticed that I enjoy watching people eat the food I make instead of eating it myself. I like the process: whisking the eggs to stiff peaks, decorating plates, baking to just the perfect consistency. It is like a work of art that I want to leave in my gallery - the kitchen - for all to see and taste. And better yet, I want to show everyone how I made it so they can recreate it themselves. It seems that people have stopped caring about what they eat and how they make it. It's all about the time factor and what we can get faster, easier, and probably cheaper. But if food is the basic building block of life, why short change it? Why not explore the world of cooking with new ingredients and combinations? Do you really not have the extra minute it would take to pick up an eggplant at the store instead of TV dinner? I guess it also comes down to following through with that choice and making something out of the eggplant later - which not everyone knows how to do. I think everyone should be taught how to use their imagination in the kitchen. It should be a mandatory class in the college curriculum because as most of us know, college students are not the best with their nutrition.

So with that, I am off to the grocery store to stock up on ingredients for a feast tonight that I am making for some friends which includes stuffed bell peppers and a chocolate cheesecake. And you know what? I will be enjoying every minute of it.

The Start

For a very long time, I considered blogging a giant waste of time and energy - until recently that is, when I started reading one of my best friend's blogs. I finally realized the allure of blogging! It's as if your diary is alive...on the internet...for all of your friends to see...and make comments. Now, generally speaking, I probably should not be doing this right now. I do not have the time, or the energy, but hey, peer pressure - that thing will get you.

So, what is going on in the life of Olga you ask? Well, as usual - the unusual. I'm surrounded by ideas, hopes, inspirations, feelings, excitements, downfalls, and of course, internal struggles. And those, my friends, are only in my dreams! Stay tuned for what's going on in reality...